The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love: Are You A Kid Pleaser?

The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love: Are You A Kid Pleaser?: "Sometimes it just gets plain old hard for me as a mother. Teaching, disciplining, encouraging, enforcing, saying the same “stuff” over a..."

Are You A Kid Pleaser?

Sometimes it just gets plain old hard for me as a mother. Teaching, disciplining, encouraging, enforcing, saying the same “stuff” over and over again. Trying not to let the kids “run” you, but rather you “run” them. A mother can really get depleted just doing the very basics. As mothers, we tend to make the mistake of trying to “please” our children, rather than doing what is necessary for them as a whole person. We fall in love with their chubby little cheeks, and angelic smile. We completely and utterly fall for this little person, and they didn't even have to work for it! We are so “psyched” about being the “Bestest Mommy Ever!”, and try to give them the whole world if we could. We tend to see this eccentric behavior in America with the “baby-boomers” or “New Age” way of parenting. Personally, I am an avid “Old-School” parent with a pinch of “New School”. I tend to believe in valuing a child's opinion while still having the final say.

Case in point, I had a friend ask me one day as we both were trying to locate a place to eat with our children, “how do you keep all of your children happy?” My response was, “I don’t”. I say we eat here, and we do. There are times when I give my children a choice, but for the most part my husband and I decide what will be. The way I see it is, my job is to train them, love them, protect them, and provide for them, and to give them standards that will benefit them in the long run. It never was my job to “make them happy”, although when I started out having children, I made the mistake of trying to do so.

Of course, I enjoy seeing them happy through the home that God has provided us, the people, places, and things that God has allowed us to enjoy. But, my personal mission, and God-given “call” as a mother is to love them enough to discipline them, inspire and expect their very best, to provide borders and boundaries for their protection, and to guide and advise them when “life” starts happening.

I have witnessed plenty of parents today, who are more concerned with external things rather than eternal. The standards that we set for ourselves should also be one our children can follow, use, and prosper by when they are grown. No doubt, training them is no small feat, it will require a “no-nonsense”, “who’s the parent”, “you “get” what you want, when you “give” what is required” type attitude. You shouldn't try to be your child’s friend when you have to make a “grown-up' decision. Some decisions are totally for the parent to make. Leadership requires a "Leader".

Take for instance, the workplace. If your supervisor is also your friend, it is important that your supervisor make things very clear with you as to their authority when it comes to your position and responsibilities. If the supervisor allows the co-worker/friend to arrive to work late, and take long lunch breaks that supervisor will eventually see first hand the creation of “Franken-worker”. An insubordinate, willful, rebellious worker who will destroy that supervisor's credibility as a leader. The supervisor will eventually have to make hard decisions regarding that employee. Training our children is similar in nature. If we allow our “affinity” towards our child to supercede mature and just decisions, crippling our ability to set and enforce standards, we will eventually see the demise of our own authority and influence over them.

I am totally in support of enjoying the children God has given us, but couple that enjoyment with a sober and clear mind as to where the lines divide between parenting and trying to be “friends” with our children. The day will come when you will have to use pretty strong judgment, and you need a firm hand and a loving heart to do that.